I’ve been doing an exercise that Louise Hay created in her book “You Can Heal Your Life.”
She recommends you say, “The person I need to forgive is ___________ and I forgive you for ________________.”
Then, if you’re working with a partner, you say it aloud to them. They then say, “Thank you, I set you free now.”
At first, I have to admit, this all sounded a little hippie-dippie to me. A little “out there.” But I decided to try it. I thought of the person I most needed to forgive and I wrote a long, two-page list of everything that I needed to forgive them for.
There is the old saying, “Holding a grudge is like taking poison and hoping the other person will die.”
Forgiveness does not mean you’re admitting that they were right in their actions. It just means that you’re not going to carry it around with you anymore. Letting it go has nothing to do with them, it is a gift you give yourself.
So I said my list out loud. Each time saying, “I forgive you for _______.” As I was going, I made a list of things I want to forgive myself for as well. Such as, “I forgive myself for judging you.” “I forgive myself for wanting people to be on my side.”
The rest of the day, I felt very light. My mind felt free and ready to focus on work. I was more able to enjoy and appreciate my life in each moment. It was as though in forgiving these past actions and situations, I was able to fully embrace my present. I was able to give up the fight of “I should have said this,” or “If I say this, they’ll understand me.” Or, “If only they would have done this instead of that.” All of that got thrown out of my mind entirely and I could just be grateful for my life now.
I even got to a point where I thought about how I am so blessed that it all happened. The whole two-page list is a blessing because it brought me here. That is how wonderful I felt about my life after letting it all go.
And I will allow myself to continue to do this as issues come up. I realized that forgiveness is ongoing sometimes. The best part of this exercise is that it didn’t involve the person I was holding a grudge against. I didn’t have to involve them in this forgiveness. All it took was a pen, paper, and some time. After I read aloud everything I forgave them for, I pictured them in my mind, nodding and hearing me, and saying “Thank you, I set you free now.”
There is a space in my life, a vacancy, where the grudge used to live. I am going to use that extra space for love, for creativity, and for gratitude.
I hope, if you’re reading this, you’ll give it a try (even though I admit it is strange!).
Thank you for visiting creating a skyscraper!